Alert Master Pillows

"The best way to get Bob's attention is by phone. . . I usually throw mine at him."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

'My son is studying communications in college. He never writes, calls, texts, or emails his parents.'

Mind control

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"Jim will have to call you back. He's trying to find his real mail that's buried in all the junk mail."

"I actually know more commands than I respond to."

"No, this movie isn't dragging. You've got it on 'pause'."

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

Printing Room

'Better not circulate these.'

Gymnastics.

Man drives by too many road alerts.

'That woke me up, too!'

New Years Resolution

"I'm going to put you on hold for a few minutes...to see if you totally lose it."

"You can just say you don't like it ... you don't have to make that face!"

Life is so much better...withremote control

'I don't like this predictive text.'

'These are some great solutions we've come up with, Ed. See if we have any problems they'll solve.'

'We've given TV up for Lent. My dad's just keeping his remote thumb in shape.'

Suddenly Jimmy didn't feel so alone in the world.

If serving staff wrote the fortune cookies.

My first name is 'sit' and my last name is 'stay'.'

"There! I finished the display! It was hard, but I did it!"

Last chance for public relations next exit...next PR- 87 miles

'Don't forget to post that parcel!'

"And this unit, with it's automatically controlled universal remote, actually make eliminates the need for YOU."