Alarm System Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'It's okay, it's our audible fish alarm.'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"It's time to wake up!"

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Your father installed a security system.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

Every time I try to warn people about the threat level, they say, surely, you jest.

Beware of the dog.

ACL-To Hell With-U.

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!