Alarm Aficionado Gifts

George's invention to wake deep sleepers was proving to be successful.

"This is our loudest alarm, guaranteed to go off if any motorcycle comes within 200 yards of your parked car."

'Your father installed a security system.'

"EEEeeeeee ... This has only been a test. If this had been a true emergency you would have heard OH MY F***ING $%&#!!"

"He doesn't realize the batteries in his smoke detector are dying, which makes a chirping sound. He thinks it's us making that sound, because he keeps giving us a dirty look."

I.T. Fear

'It's okay, it's our audible fish alarm.'

Alarmistclock

Pre-Television Man Caves

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

"It's time to wake up!"

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

"I just installed a home security monitor."

"Ray Brown on bass, Elvin Jones on drums, and Alan Greenspan on interest rates."

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

"The best thing is he works without WiFi or a data plan."

'Damn sirens go off as soon as anyone goes near them.'

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

"The dollar is falling!"

How to Rise with the Sun

Big Ben

'Oooh, nice timepiece.'

Spy reading secret service weekly.

"Security is lax on this side."

You think you're good, eh? Okay, you've got the lost and found windo at the Kleptomaniac's Convention.

THE MOTHER OF ALL ALARM CLOCKS

"I've noticed that all the security cameras follow me around."

How time can get away from you.

Sundial watch...