Alarm Aficionado Gifts

George's invention to wake deep sleepers was proving to be successful.

"This is our loudest alarm, guaranteed to go off if any motorcycle comes within 200 yards of your parked car."

'Your father installed a security system.'

"EEEeeeeee ... This has only been a test. If this had been a true emergency you would have heard OH MY F***ING $%&#!!"

"He doesn't realize the batteries in his smoke detector are dying, which makes a chirping sound. He thinks it's us making that sound, because he keeps giving us a dirty look."

I.T. Fear

Pre-Television Man Caves

Alarmistclock

'It's okay, it's our audible fish alarm.'

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Biro Security

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

"It's time to wake up!"

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

"She's a Rolex. He's a Timex."

"I just installed a home security monitor."

"Ray Brown on bass, Elvin Jones on drums, and Alan Greenspan on interest rates."

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'

"The dollar is falling!"

'Oooh, nice timepiece.'

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

How wire-tapping began. Is that some kind of eavesdropping equipment? Sort of

How to Rise with the Sun

Clydesdale never misses a beat.

'Damn sirens go off as soon as anyone goes near them.'

Big Ben

"The best thing is he works without WiFi or a data plan."

Spy reading secret service weekly.

"Security is lax on this side."