Aladdin Enthusiast Gifts

'Get back inside this jewel encrusted ancient bottle now...it'll be worth more on the Antiques Roadshow.'

"Walt Disney on ice."

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

"I believe I you, Bigfoot."

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

F1 - Quit Smoking.

Bowling ball head.

'I'm trying to turn gold into gasoline.'

'NOW what have they talked you into?'

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

This Space Available.

"We've never had a Cheshire cat in the surgery before. He's not very happy to be here is he?"

"I predict that men's fashions will remain relatively stable throughout the next century and a half, whereas women's will evolve continuously, and with the speed and illogic of a juiced-up tribe of rampaging Darwinian monkeys."

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

Beware of chesire dog.

Eat More Salted Nuts

"Prepare yourself for a shock. The birth records reveal you have a twin brother."

"The Closer, Cleaner, Smoother Reaper."

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

Cakeless.

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

The natural selection process in golf.

"So that's Ireland."

'Have you heard of the Phrase,'Survival of the fittest'?' 'Uh-ho!'

'I'm trying to transmute lead into a combustible fuel that will produce no smoke.' 'Turning it into gold will be easier.'

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"

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