Kingpin Aficionado Gifts

Bowling.

Knight Golfing

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"Got any bathtub gin?"

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'The Saxon King' pub

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

Mr. Blok goes bowling.

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

Knights Wing Mirrors.

"Mom, this isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to be Iron Man for Halloween."

Unicorn Joust

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

Romulus (left) and Remus

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

I think he's a bit OCD. He checked my chastity belt is locked, six times!

'What I wouldn't give to be a lager lout again!'

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."

Frederic Chopin.

"Your Majesty, this learned committee has done deep research on the subject, and we have come to one conclusion: queens often marry down."

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

"Let's make the bill easy and just split it."

How to injury yourself as an adult

"You're probably hot and I've gone on too long so I'll end with a story of the great pestilence."

'I like a man in a suit.'

'Nice to have a door opener.'

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

"Try not to loft the ball so much.'

Ghost Porn

'You've had enough.'

'Time gentlemen please. Come on, don't you have any kingdoms to go to? ! '

"Let's not go to bed angry."