Airport Lounges Gifts

Departures - Portaloo.

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'

'Not that net!'

"Shake! Good Dog."

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

Rubbish Carousel

Airport Bored Rooms

Mass Travel

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

A chip off the old block...

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

Sooners! Opening day of fishing.

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Take us to your feeder."

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

Man reading a tablet in library.

"Sunshine Mixed with Intermittent Burgers."

'I'm not waiting for luggage; I just bring the kids here to play.'

'Damn it! Wait your turn!'

"We have room on flight 24 for your luggage, but not for you."

Flight nap

Not quite Beverly Hills.

'We spent two weeks in Hawaii, but Fred didn't get any further than the airport bar.'

'Then put me on the No-Fly list if you can't put me in first class!'

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

'No, but if you hum a few bars...'

Baldo unrolls a chaise lounge.

H.M.Customs 'Nothing to declare' 'Articles to declare' 'Genius to declare'

Fisherman: 'Did the DNR say anything about the size of your fish?' Other: 'Yeah. So long.'

"So where are you off to today Wanda?" "......ummmmm......."

'The gardener in him sold out to the nature-conservationist.'

"Of course the best way to lay compost is to get someone else to do it..."