Airport Lounge Escapologist Gifts

Departures - Portaloo.

Carefree luggage.

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Airport

Airport

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Mass Travel

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

Airport Bored Rooms

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

"Will you be flying through to Toledo, or attempting to leave mid-air?"

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

"Hell: The Airport"

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Arrivals, departures & limbo.

"The holiday was a real eye opener...the crowds,the unbearable heat and noise,the chaos...and that was just at Heathrow."