Airplane Noise Navigator Pillows

I'm near the airport.

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

Noisy energy?

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Which one is named after me?'

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

Dog thumping tail on floor, man below thumping ceiling with broom.

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

'Yes, I know. But my boarding pass clearly says 'B4'!'

"Why haven't noise cancelling headphones been invented yet?"

'I love looking at the stars. I think of us as celestial paparazzi.'

Number Phobia.

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

'I've had a report of a peeping tom.'

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

'Look, it's the constellation 'Skipper the frisbee catching dog'!'

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.

Things You Should Know About...

"I don't know—maybe we could look at something besides Canis Major tonight?"