Noise-sensitive Navigator Pillows

"I was going to go to the other slop trough, but the music's always too loud."

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'Should I try a three point turn?' - 'Better not, we only have 30 minutes left.'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

Number Phobia.

'Let's cut out the mumbo jumbo and get to the nitty gritty.'

'Niche apres tenure. Niche before and you're toast.'

"Sorry Capt., but it's a pretty bad termite infestation..."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"Stop telling me how well you did on the written."

'Quiet with your crisps please, I can't hear the film.'

Niche Marketing

"My nose whistling is keeping me awake all night."

A musical instrument shop is positioned next to a silent treatment shop.

Things You Should Know About...

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

"I find that incessant barking eases the pain."

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

Snooze Cruise

Echo Hills - Please bear with us while we lower the decibel level.

"Okay, so I've outgrown my niche in Organizational Behavior. I'll re-niche."

Nature Magnified

Moral Ambiguity

"Have you decided what household object you're hiding under this July 4th?"