Air Traffic Controllers Gifts

"Ask someone with a smartphone - which gate is ours?"

We think it will prevent bird collisions!

Surprise

'As the plane approaches the terminal, stand in front of it and wave these lights around.'

Angel nightmares

Thru versus Through Traffic

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Employee of the Month Parking

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Two airplanes

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

'I work at the airport.'

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'It's a slow trap.'

'Steady,...not yet,...hold your positions.'

Volcanic ash...

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."