Air Traffic Control Gifts

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

Believe me VHT=003. You are too low!!

Air traffic controllers, as always, cool, calm and collected.

Thru versus Through Traffic

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Employee of the Month Parking

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Two airplanes

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

Santa knows he has to be more careful. One more accident due to pilot error, and the FAA would take away his pilot's license for good.

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'I work at the airport.'

Speed bump in honor of JD Yomp 1866 - 1957...inventor of Asphalt

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

'Steady,...not yet,...hold your positions.'

Volcanic ash...

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

'It's a slow trap.'

Grim reaper ambulance

"If this car is so smart, why didn't it let me know there was a cop there?"

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."