Air Show Fan Gifts

"There's no need to scream. The plane may be old but she was built for aerobatics."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Fighter Jet Sneeze

Applause

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

The EP-21 spy plane.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

Men discussing a book on a chat show

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"Well I think the Real question is..."

World War II Hawker 'HURRICANE'.

Air Footer

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

"Technically, it's not a crime, but it still feels wrong."

For Sale: Red Arrow

Man reads from card at awards ceremony: 'And the award for Best Actress goes to ...'

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

Retired Talk Show Host.

'Thanks for tuning in - we'll try to pander to you.'

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.

Airshow.

Stealth fighter fly over.

'And your specialist subject is the Invisible Man films?'

Conan O'Brian