Air Seeker T-Shirts

"I smoke so I can spend more time outdoors."

On holiday.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Bad fake tan day.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

"Privates Beach"

I took a vacation to forget everything and I forgot my luggage.

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

French wine

"Me, as soon as I'm old enough, I'm out of here! I'll go and join my older brother: he's a beach bum in San Diego, California..."

'I blame global warming!'

'Now try and relax - we're on holiday!'

Perils of the double play.

Dolphins playing on a seesaw.

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

Beach hats

"We're here to experience pleasure."

Sunbathing in the park

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"I need a holiday that guarantees perfect weather, good beaches and romance!"

Easter Island Shades...

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

Beer Parasol.