Ai Antagonist Gifts

Despot!

"Welcome to the future"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Robotic Man

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"Oh boy! Mom made microchip cookies!"

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

Driverless cars rage.

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

'Yes, it computed the answer in a bilionth of a second and printed it instantly, but until I find my glasses...'

Bot Art: After da Vinci

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"I'm afraid I'll be replaced by a robot at work."

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'