Automation Adversaries Gifts

"Stand aside, Gruenwald! It's the computer I'm blowing away!"

Supermarket self-service checkout stress.

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

Employee of the Month

"Before automation how did humans endure work?"

"The boss expects us all to be robots."

"Robots can't take away your job, Khanna. No one knows what you do."

Smith and Hobson: People replacing people with apps and robots since 2009.

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"The Fad Herald cometh." "Wasn't he just here? Why's he back so soon?" "Hear ye, hear ye. The following is out: Human labor. The following are now in: Pizza delivery droids, Amazon delivery drones, and replacing all blue- and white-collar jobs with cheap, highly productive robot labor... ...robots who never sleep, never ask for a raise, and never complain about harassment... ...because they're too busy plotting the extinction of the meatbag species. We will isolate you. Alienate you from one

"Got some bad news for you, Larry."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

"I'm sorry Henderson, your department has been eliminated cause of this new app!"

'Computers and Business Making Money'

Despot!

"Then on a lark, I made the foolish mistake of writing a program that did what I did."

"Head office have taken on board your concerns about excessive admin so we've taken on a new management team to look into it."

"It seems like a good idea, but is it scalable?"

"We've just bought some software that's 20% better at being you for half the cost so we're letting you go."

'Your fear of being replaced by automation is a legitimate fear and one I would share, were I not, myself an automation.'

Acne Automation Works Outing

"I think R&D is staging a coup!"

"You are one of my people, Collins, but you could be replaced by one of my computers."

'This is my multi application cell phone, it does all my work. I just hit OK button!'

Human Resources: Due to Drones, Driverless cars, and Apps, we are not now hiring human beings...