Agricultural Lawyer Gifts

The Jeopardy of Progress

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

View to the Future

'Trickle or Spray!?'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

"Can I call you back? I've got a situation here."

Biodiversity

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Farmers' Warnings.

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

'Thanks to a little genetec engineering, we can merchandise these fish right on the farm.'

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

'It's a growth industry' (tulips from Amsterdam).

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

Disraeli's Local Taxation Reform for Agricultural Interest

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"I can't afford to feed you."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

World hunger

'I don't know if she's gonna be much good. I don't think she's even registered.'

Desk of an urban farm manager

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

Illuminating agricultural production

'This computerized herd management is getting out of control.'

Farmer Joe's soybean maze never caught on

'Help! I think I'm going to be fertilized!'

"Whatever happened to common sense?"

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'