Agrarian Giggler Pillows

Your Country Needs MOO!

The Busy Gardener

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Yard Sale

Beginning Yarder.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'It was this big. I swear'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'I'll come in as soon as I've seen the orbits of Venus.'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'Where are you going?'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'I can't hire you, but I can sell you some stock in the company.'

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."