Agnosticism Gifts

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Skeptic Tank.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

Non-Denominational Carols

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"