Agnosticism Gifts

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

"Nonsense - we're far less religious than you are."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Skeptic Tank.

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

Non-Denominational Carols

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"If you prayed to Google instead of God, you might get a constructive response."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

'OK, now you've seen it...'