Agnostic Thinker Gifts

'I'm an agnostic so I'm praying to Richard Dawkins.'

'If only I believed in God, then I'd have somebody to blame...'

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Admit it, we're lost."

Cactus seats.

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

Non-Denominational Carols

"Of course it's not clean energy -- We don't have clean ANYTHING!"

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

Reasonableman

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

"Things are looking up!"

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

Rogue elephant

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

"Now then Mr Parker - are you relaxed?"

The Choice is Obvious

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'