Aging Gracefully Giggles Pillows

The Middle-Aged Dog. Wait – Why did I run into this field?

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

Parts Department

Aging Problems

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

'I can't believe I'm pretending to be 55 already...'

Don't have a hot flush....

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You're right, they are statins."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

The Aging of Underwear

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

A very fine vintage

"Miriam keeps me young."

'They want your underwear.'

'You look quite distinguished with that gray hare on your head, Jim!'

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

The Girl With The Draggin' tattoo: 'Hot...Cold.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'