Aging Gracefully Giggles Pillows

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Parts Department

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Aging Problems

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"You're right, they are statins."

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

The Aging of Underwear

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

"Miriam keeps me young."

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

A very fine vintage

'You look quite distinguished with that gray hare on your head, Jim!'

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

The Girl With The Draggin' tattoo: 'Hot...Cold.'

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'