Aging Grace Gifts

Snail Pattern Balding.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Old Karate Master

Parts Department

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"I noticed a few browns."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"I come from the future."

"You're right, they are statins."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'