Aging Acrobat Pillows

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Gary turns 40.

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Aging Support Group

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

Baldness Facts

Translating . . . poetry.

"It's a stream of consciousness novel like 'Ulysses' I just sort of sat down and wrote it without even thinking of a plot have you had drink I', going to get a seat where do you come from it's hot in here I like blue do you like blue..."

"It's the first week of school and already I have a 10-page report due tomorrow!"

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

Middle Age Spread.

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

"You've still got it Joao."

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

"That's just the meds kicking in."

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

Antiques

'You can try, but once they're past forty, you can't teach them new tricks.'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

A tightrope walker balances while holding hearts.