Agility Expert Gifts

'This model gets great gas mileage but is recommended only for the very agile driver.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

Maybe clean out your wallet

Agility God

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

Motivation to work

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

'It says it works so fast, it's accumulated seven thousand years of vacation with pay.'

Peacock of Productivity

'Working on my computer save me loads of spare time. To do more stuff on my computer.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

I have plenty of work harder bees. Get me more work smarter bees.

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

"Hey, Dunleavy! I hear the boss is clearing out more dead wood today! Maybe you should've just stayed home and called in stick! Get it? Called in stick?"

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

How Many It Takes