Agility Expert Pillows

'This model gets great gas mileage but is recommended only for the very agile driver.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Motivation to work

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

Agility God

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

"This works, so why do we need to spend all that energy building a nest?"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"And with the optional remote you make all these little lights go off and on really quickly." You can have an IT system with all the latest bells and whistles...or you could have one that WORKS

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

Cat shoes: For those who are too busy to do their own walking.

'We've cut and pasted your list into 84 arbitrary sub-lists. Well, our work here is done.'

...The computer says you can handle 20 more work

It come's to my attention that you have been doing the work of two men.

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

'Well I've finished the project on time and on budget!' 'Oh, that means I've given you too much time and too much money!'

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

'It says it works so fast, it's accumulated seven thousand years of vacation with pay.'

'Working on my computer save me loads of spare time. To do more stuff on my computer.'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

"Hey, Dunleavy! I hear the boss is clearing out more dead wood today! Maybe you should've just stayed home and called in stick! Get it? Called in stick?"

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

'Miss Pringle, I run a tight ship! What is this piece of paper doing on my desk?'

Peacock of Productivity

How Many It Takes