Ageing Ace Gifts

Time is a Trap.

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

Breast Height Chart

Ed's receding hairline!

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Old Karate Master

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Baldness Facts

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

Old Tortoise

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

Middle Age Spread.