Ageing Ace Mugs

Time is a Trap.

'Somewhere along the way, I went from lambada to lumbago.'

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Breast Height Chart

Ed's receding hairline!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

Aging Support Group

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Old Karate Master

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'I remember when your dad still had a full mane and his own canines... back in his wild days.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Baldness Facts

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"Now that I'm getting older it takes more than a single bound to leap a tall building."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

I spent my whole career studying the effects of cloning on aging. What did you find? Same old, same old. Plainwell Brew.

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.