Age Perception Ponderer T-Shirts

'But isn't 40 the new 30?'

'Don't worry about it Bob: 130 is the new 100...'

"Would I describe them as youths? Sure. They were certainly younger than 70."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

Max Weber

Sex Education

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!