Age Gap Ponderer T-Shirts

"What about you, Walter – how do you feel about same-age marriage?"

"If you ask me, I'd say he was circa 1945 and she's circa 1965."

'Harold's sweet, smart, funny, thoughtful and rich. Maybe if I squint he won't look that old to to me...'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

Sex Education

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

"I don't get this whole age thing...I waited all year to turn nine, but now I don't feel any older!"

'They're not reliable.'

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

30th Birthday - Doctors aren't like policemen.. they don't grow younger, they just age faster.

"All of a sudden, everyone seems younger than I am."

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

"You have nothing to complain about....your side is growing too!"

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

"We didn't have these cushy escalators when I was a calf. No siree. We had to jump. And I still have the scars to prove it. Wanna see 'em?"

'You are daydreaming all the time. When are you going to mature?'

Never Trust Anyone Under Thirty

"...There was no such thing as ordering it through the interwebs, or whatever the heck you call it."

"The best thing about getting old is YouTube wasn't around when we did really stupid stuff."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

The Mayfly, who lives from 5 minutes to just a few hours, are touchy about age.

"So ... is that a Thing now?"

Wait for it....

'Don't worry, dear -- The bust is yet to come.'

Optimists Live Longer.

"Answer your question? You mean in real time?"

Old Ringed Planet: '( Humph! ) Teenagers.'

Some old men are filthy with money or without money.

"I thought this would be the year I'd come for you, but I guess not. So I got you a birthday card instead!"

"So, ... when I'm forty, you'll be what, .... a hundred and seventy?"