Age Perception Ponderer Pillows

'But isn't 40 the new 30?'

'Don't worry about it Bob: 130 is the new 100...'

"Would I describe them as youths? Sure. They were certainly younger than 70."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

'Retirement is OK, but instead of looking forword to weekends, I'm working at McDonalds.'

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Sex Education

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

'When bad 401ks happen to good people'

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Star Trek-the Older Generation. . .

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."