Age Humor Pillows

'Face it, Frank - After 40 we all need glasses.'

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'I'd say you're a little late...'

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

"There ain't enough room in this here town for two arthritics, stranger..."

'Dang.'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

'I don't know which will come first.. retirement or draft?'

Pregnant vs. Old.

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

'Humans age the same way we do, every year is equal to seven years. I know this because Timmy has had a family birthday party, an extended family birthday party, a friend birthday party...

'I don't like to carry ID.'

Rodin's Generation Gap

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

Now showing: Retirement Village Vixens, You must be 65.

"Gosh Grandma, you must be over a million in dog years."

'Aaaaaaaaaah forty seven. What a lovely age.'

'When I was your age I was five and a hlaf years old.'

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."

Yeah, well, when you're old, you'll get whiskers in weird places, too.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

Mountain has tunnel called Carpal Tunnel.