Age-related Humor Pillows

Estate Agent 'Last time buyer'

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

May all your birthday wishes come true..

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

Middle Age: When an 'All Nighter' means you didn't have to get up to pee!

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-12)

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

'Dang.'

Adult Magician

"Greatest Band?"

"Mom, does granddad want me to run away? He's playing that Disco music again!"

"I said 'blow job' not 'blow chunks'."

'Face it, Frank - After 40 we all need glasses.'

High pants/Low pants.

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

'Humans age the same way we do, every year is equal to seven years. I know this because Timmy has had a family birthday party, an extended family birthday party, a friend birthday party...

'I don't like to carry ID.'

Uniporn

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

"This is my mom's phone. Instead of a hashtag, it has a pound sign."

"Have you a cabernet that will pair well with dysfunction?"