Age Humor Fan Gifts

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

"Why bother?"

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

You can't get what up

Birthday To-Do List

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"Let's face it,Rhoda-you're no spring chicken yourself!"

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

'Face it, Frank - After 40 we all need glasses.'

Pregnant vs. Old.

"I wouldn't say that you're old, Dear, just way past your 'Best Before' date!"

"You're not losing your hair Dad, it's right here in your comb."

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Perry. Would you like to come in for a stool softener?"

'When I was your age I was five and a hlaf years old.'

Old Men on Rockers.

"I think men over thirty-six are very distinguished."

"I come from a family of long livers."

"Were the muggers young? Oh yes, all under 70."

Global Skate Boards...senior discount: 'High school SENIORS, Dude!'

"No, kids, Grandma isn't 'way older' than these trees."

Estate Agent 'Last time buyer'

Preservatives.

'My transplanted heart is 29, my transplanted kidney is 41, my transplanted lung is 38 and the rest of me is 59.'

"Whoa! Now there goes one fine pair of kidneys!"

Beware - Baby Boomers Turning 40.

No Radio on Board

Blemish, Zit, Mole and Pimple.

"Relax Sven, I've heard it's quite common among Vikings of your age."

'You need a card to prove you're a 'lad' to have that!'