Age Gracefully Advocate Gifts

From here to infirmity.

A faulty mirror.

'Perfect birthday party dear, but so it should be after the practice you've had over so many years.'

"Losing your fizz is very common for a man your age."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Old Karate Master

Parts Department

"We REALLY do get better with age."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

Aging Problems

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"I noticed a few browns."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

Don't have a hot flush....

"I come from the future."

"Put it under your pillow, and maybe you'll get a visit from the hair fairy."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

The Aging of Underwear

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

'They want your underwear.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

A senior moment.