Age Conscious Gifts

Man spots a grey hair in his beard

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"We’re still a relatively young company compared to this lady I found in the lobby."

'Ageism at work'

'60 is the new 40.'

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

"Botox? No, I simply stopped smiling when I turned 30."

'Behold,a cross section of our workforce: the energy of youth mixed with the wisdom of years.'

'Isn't she a bit young for you?'

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

When job hunting, your age will get in the way - but only if you place it centre stage.

'He's getting old.'

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

'The boss wants me to retire...The company doesn't want you when you're old and useless.' 'They prefer people who are young and useless.'

"You're over 50. While we appreciate your past contributions, we need to put them behind us and move on."

'Perhaps we've reached the age where pajamas are in order.'

'Whoohoo, you've got the job! Just sign this little contract clause. It says that when you're too old to fit our company's young, healthy and fancy image, you agree to get put down.'

"I said I USED TO BE A BABY BOOMER!"

"The only way she can still be in her twenties is if her birthday is 29th February!"

Woman Magazine -Look Younger; Teen Gal Magazine -Look Older

'Methuselah never stops complaining - it's been 'age discrimination' since he was 600.'

"Ask Sadie advice hour! What's your problem?!" "The other day, my grandpa tried driving to the corner store but got lost and ended up at the beach, six states away." "How do I get him to realize it's time to stop driving without hurting his feelings?" "Excellent question." "It reminds me of the time in 1863 when Grandpappy Cohen accidentally led a caravan of zoo-bound pelicans onto a field in Gettysburg." "One particularly panicky pelican escaped and distracted General Lee, and the rest is

"Everyone forgets: Before we were old white men, we were young white men."

Runaway Bride.

"You have a great resume... experience... education... history... but there is one thing we'd like to see that you don't have..." "A birth certificate issued sometime around 1975."