Age-conscious Individual Gifts

"Botox? No, I simply stopped smiling when I turned 30."

When did my internal clock go external?

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"We’re still a relatively young company compared to this lady I found in the lobby."

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'Ageism at work'

'60 is the new 40.'

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

'Behold,a cross section of our workforce: the energy of youth mixed with the wisdom of years.'

On today's "Ask Sadie" Radio Hour, we'll talk about the elephant in the room: Hillary Clinton's age. And Bernie's too. Forget all this PC nonsense, I'll just come right out and say it: Their age disqualifies them. These children don't know anything about life. I bet they haven't even gotten their first hip replacement yet. Nice to know we'll always be young to somebody. Earth is young to her.

'Isn't she a bit young for you?'

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

Just to see the expression on their faces, store clerk Rodney Clatch liked to offer senior discounts to 40-something women.

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

Man spots a grey hair in his beard

"You will grow old and wrinkled, and moan about the weather."

When job hunting, your age will get in the way - but only if you place it centre stage.

'The boss wants me to retire...The company doesn't want you when you're old and useless.' 'They prefer people who are young and useless.'

"You're over 50. While we appreciate your past contributions, we need to put them behind us and move on."

If wisdom comes with age, I'm smarter than I look.

'Whoohoo, you've got the job! Just sign this little contract clause. It says that when you're too old to fit our company's young, healthy and fancy image, you agree to get put down.'

'I wish you would stop calling my birthday a historical re-enactment!'

"I said I USED TO BE A BABY BOOMER!"

'I'm not worried about ageism - I'm just keeping it real'

"The only way she can still be in her twenties is if her birthday is 29th February!"

"We card everyone. You're too old for a Shirley Temple."

'I'm at that awkward age. Not as young as I say I am, and not as old as I feel.'

Woman Magazine -Look Younger; Teen Gal Magazine -Look Older

'Honey, its for you.'

'Methuselah never stops complaining - it's been 'age discrimination' since he was 600.'

Runaway Bride.

"You have a great resume... experience... education... history... but there is one thing we'd like to see that you don't have..." "A birth certificate issued sometime around 1975."

'She's my age!!'