Age-conscious Reader Gifts

Woman Magazine -Look Younger; Teen Gal Magazine -Look Older

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

Gen-Next Library

Multi-Generational Books

"I'm still pre-literate."

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"At least she's reading."

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

'I can't remember the title, but it began, 'Once upon a time'...'

"Think about the perks. You learn to read, you get a pre-approved library card!"

You Know You're Old When...

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

'Oh great,,, More protesters getting on our case about how the magazine industry creates 'unrealistic standards' for the human body,'

Boss

"Books are tricky. You can't text with a text book and you can't call with a phone book!"

"Poor kid, his parents gave him a book for Christmas."

'Oh darling, it is not an ibook, it is only a book.'

'I'm looking for something not too heavy.'

"Botox? No, I simply stopped smiling when I turned 30."

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

Kid Reads "The Little Tibetan Book Of The Dead"

"We no longer shelve gay fiction separately. It's been assimilated."

'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

Wrong shelf.

On today's "Ask Sadie" Radio Hour, we'll talk about the elephant in the room: Hillary Clinton's age. And Bernie's too. Forget all this PC nonsense, I'll just come right out and say it: Their age disqualifies them. These children don't know anything about life. I bet they haven't even gotten their first hip replacement yet. Nice to know we'll always be young to somebody. Earth is young to her.

"Actually, I'm sitting here reading a book—just to see if I can still do it."

"I enjoy younger guys, but they have to be house-broken."

'Isn't she a bit young for you?'

"It's your Grandpa's version of keeping up with technology...reading the papers online."