Afterlife Satire Admirer Gifts

"Well, I made it. A little singed and smelling of smoke, but still here."

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

How about going easy on the carbs

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Czarcasm

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

'We've re-branded.'

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

The Reaper's Arms

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"A haand gel...!?"

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Hot cross buns

"From this you make a living?"

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"You run into a window, too?"

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'