Afterlife Jokes Admirer Gifts

'Apparently my ex's idea of heaven was to punch me in the eye.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"From this you make a living?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

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Gates of heaven

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

Post-psychoanalysis

"No, you're going to hell - but you're welcome to check out the gift shop."

'Hold on, pal! Who's in control of the narrative here?'