Afterlife Joke Appreciator Gifts

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

What's an Imax cave?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Laughing Zone Ahead

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

OMG.

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Split the last one?

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

Due to Global Warming Penguins have been Spotted Far from their Natural Habitat

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

"He can be a real charmer when he wants to be."

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.