Afterlife Satire Admirer Pillows

"Well, I made it. A little singed and smelling of smoke, but still here."

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Czarcasm

'We've re-branded.'

The Reaper's Arms

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"A haand gel...!?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

Hot cross buns

"You run into a window, too?"

"And yet methinks, Martha, that 'Ibsen with Rhythm' seems somehow to miss the point of Ibsen."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Well, that was the weirdest tribute band I've ever seen."

"From this you make a living?"

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

'And remember team, if you can't join 'em, lick 'em!'

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."