Afterlife Satire Fan Pillows

'I hope I still get a full hour for lunch.'

"I'm sorry for the delay. We're still waiting to get approval from your insurance company."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"From this you make a living?"

"You run into a window, too?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

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"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

Gates of heaven

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

"Hey! You were that old sourpuss who worked at the motor vehicles department!"

Post-psychoanalysis