Afterlife Investigator T-Shirts

Gift Cards In Hell

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"Surgery up here is free!"

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's true: no more burpees."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'Look man, no wings!'

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

The Final Selfie

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."