Afterlife Art Collector T-Shirts

Heaven Mk. II.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Children's artwork exhibition.

Use your imagination.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

The Reaper's Arms

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Art Gallery.

"He's an abstract artist."

"Caricatures $20"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"What's most exciting about NFTs is the opportunity for dynamic new content."

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."