Edgy Art Collector T-Shirts

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

(Camel paintings)

Romantic Giraffes

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Use your imagination.

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Wagging Dog

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

Art Gallery.

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

A Tumble Cow

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"He's an abstract artist."

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"I'm sick of the same old thing. How about frosting and sprinkles?"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'I think we should cut back on the tranquilizers.'

"Good, clean art from the Molly Murphy Collection"