Edgy Art Collector Pillows

KINKY

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Romantic Giraffes

(Camel paintings)

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Use your imagination.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Wagging Dog

"We're odd looking but just as good."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Dynasties - Ping, Ching, Ming.

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

T-Rex Game of Choice - Ping Pong

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

"He's an abstract artist."

"Tracy Island offers palatial splendour in the safest of environments. Your beds are unmade because this is Tracy Emin Island."

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

A Tumble Cow

Art Gallery.

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

"I'm sick of the same old thing. How about frosting and sprinkles?"

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"I read 'Art News.'"

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."