Afterlife Accountant Gifts

"It's from the IRS. They demand full disclosure of all treasures laid up here."

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'He lived and died for golf.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

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Gates of heaven

Postcards from Heaven...

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Heaven

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

"You get a white robe, a halo, wings, and of course, free WIFI."

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

Post-psychoanalysis

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."