Financial Strategist For The Afterlife Gifts

The high cost of dying is going under.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Will work for ETFs

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"I just..."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'The recession is over, again.'

'Are we broke yet?'

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

'The market shifted on me.'

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

Reverse Mortgage.

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."

Davos.

'I can't talk right now. I'm discussing strategy with our financial director.'

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."