Aesthetic Connoisseur T-Shirts

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Louis Armstrong

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Saint George and the Drag Queen

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

Mr Metrosexual.

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Creation of Red Wine

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"He's an abstract artist."

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

"Hamlet. By William Shakespeare." Painting.

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

The Cremaster Cycle

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

Truman Capote

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 1) - Putto Figure in Lower Part of Image Altered for Publication

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"See that? He's the kind of peasant I detest."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'