Advocate Of Sanity Gifts

Today I'm resigning from political office to spend more time with my sanity.

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'It's a silent protest.'

Relax.

"Yes I really do need a glass of water. My duvets on fire."

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, and this time I mean it!'

African shadow

"The key to happiness is privacy. Hear what I'm sayin'?"

Punkcakes

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

Now you're going to say, "objection overruled." Objection overruled. What can I say? ESP is a gift from God.

Vote! Wally Yomp, Congress: 'I promise to put the toilet seat down.'

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

"Our property taxes went up agian."

Old man in pub threatening the live band with CS gas

'They suspect arson.'

'Okay, you can see him now. But you must promise not to wake him.'

"John McCain stuck to his convictions...did what was right even when it was contrary to his party - just like..."

"If you killed him using a tennis racket, you need a sports lawyer."

'That be the village sane person,sir!'

'In my experience, common sense is far from common. . .'

'What d'you mean you've been praying for a raise?'

'Don't you 'shh' me.'

"You're going to be OK, Frank. Just remain clam."

Danger Ahead

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

"For heaven's sake try to relax now you're retired."

Make America Normal Again

The New Face of Political Campaigns

World Peace

'I told you we weren't pet people.'

Elf on the Wagon

The Organ Grinding Nuisance Pt. 2

"It stops him from wandering towards the wines and spirits aisles."

Always wear your helmet on site.