Advice Survivor Gifts

Tennis Player Receives Unwanted Advice on the Tennis Court of Public Opinion.

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'In general, do the right thing.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'Have you considered getting a life-coach?'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

I'm the bluebird of happiness, and I'm on a book tour. Make Your Own Happiness.

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

"I'm sorry your wife doesn't understand you, but this is a dry cleaner's."

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Trekfan" in Dallas, you're on. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! House of Java Cybercafe. I've been trying to get my wife to watch sci-fi with me. But she's so closed-minded about it. Everything that I find so profound and beautiful about it, she finds silly. Stop trying to change your wife into a Xerox copy of yourself! Right now your relationship is based on the kind of incompatibility that leads to resentment, recrimination and bickering. Enjoy that. You'd make a great Kl

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. I'll tell you how to fix your hopeless relationship or cope with all the people at work who really are better than you. Then I'll berate you for not manning up and dealing with it on your own instead of bugging me about it! Los Angeles, CA, you're on. What's your problem? Click.

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'The secret to staying in business, Wilson, is making something that's needed. Profit!'

"There's someone here who says she has a word to the wise. Do we have anyone like that?"

A Bug's Life Advice

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirt

Surveillance over the suggestion box.

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'